My heart has been pondering since last night about the last line of my prayer post...that I want to be free falling into God's arms...
And then before I went to sleep I read the mentioned verses from my Jesus Calling devotional, it was as if He (God Almighty) wrote me a love letter to confirm that He is ready if I am...
Deuteronomy 33:27 (paraphrased by me, personalized for me or you if you replace my name with yours)
"I am the eternal God and I am your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."
This is the one and only God.
And so I have been feeding on His words to me today in my daily struggles and joys. As I carry Malachi, my 9 month old baby around, shifting from hip to hip to rest my tired arms. As I snuggle with my daughter before bed and her lil' whisper, "tighter mom, hold me tighter" and I squeeze my wrapped around arms a lil' tighter...
God's words hit me in a new way. He wants to hold me. He wants to catch me when I risk the free fall for more of Him. And His arms are EVERLASTING. His strength never runs out. There is no readjusting from side to side or setting me down for a much needed break. His arms will hold me and lift me out of pits and catch me as I risk it and allow my disappointments of this earthly life to free fall me back to Him.
His Arms Will Uphold Me...and my family.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Jesus. I need you so much more than I really want to believe. I need a savior. An authority and strength that is majestically supreme. And you are all o need! Thank you!
Wondering. Pondering this road that Pete and I are walking on yet lately feels we are crawling on...3 kids so tiny and needy...I fail daily to do what I am called. Struggling to get up earlier than the kids...my day starts before I give it to you. And it feels too late to begin it right. Cereal bowls need to filled. Diapers need to be changed. Laundry needs to be done. Baseball wants to be played and the dress up clothes are calling to be filled with lil limbs to make believe the fairy tales we all dream of as little girls. Morning naps and lunchtime already. Oh Jesus please wake me up to be alone with you! Oh please? I can't see how I will make it through this life without my time with you...I want to honor you, respect my husband and be a crown for his life, to live a life that lil eyes ears and hearts see Jesus through in this imperfect constant battle ground. I have no clue why we are here in Jamestown in this lil mini mansion with more than I think I can handle...unsure of what the future holds. Questioning church work and mothering and longing for so much different than the same. Jesus! Please fall down upon me now and take over. I am ready to be free falling into your arms so consumed by your mercy and grace. This is my prayer this night. Amen.