What Next! …. Can I Place My Resignation?

I cannot resist.
I must document this morning or I may be distracted all day.
The morning started early this morning.
Pete left at 5:30am and right before he left, Miracle started crying and somehow ‘magically’ landed in bed with me.

So…
Daddy is gone to enjoy a nice quiet workout and get to work on time (I admit my jealousy).
Mommy is suddenly lying in between the 2yr old (who thinks it is morning and wants to get up) and the 7month old (who can’t figure out why his sister is talking and the lights are shining in the room and now wants to eat because he is by mommy).
My alarm was set for 5:45am with high hopes to get a 10 minute workout in and a quiet time with the Lord – Boy, little did I know that God had a workout and quiet time all planned for me!

Well, the alarm went off and I quickly turned it off.
I popped the pacifier into Matthias’ mouth and pretended to sleep.
Then my quiet time came…right out of Miracle’s mouth as her little hand ventured for my face in the dark and she whispered, “Jesus.”
“What?” I asked.
“Jesus is Alive!” Miracle continued to whisper.
----If the morning could have ended here, it would be the sweetest reminder ever----

It continued.
I told Miracle I had to take a shower. She asked to take a bath. I didn’t oppose the idea because I thought it might keep her occupied and get me clean; killing two birds with one stone. The bath was fine, except the water was too hot for Miracle and so I had to put lots of cold in and a cold bath is not my thing.
Matthias started crying.
We got out of the tub.
I put a diaper on Miracle. Then I started to feed Matthias. Miracle found some of my old makeup and compact in the drawer. (I have let her use this one when I do my makeup.) The best thing about this situation was the fact that she listened when I told her she had to do her makeup sitting on the towel. So there I was stuck in the chair nursing Matthias, watching a two year demolish my eye shadow and blush. She was “GENTLY” in 2year old fashion brushing it all over her tummy, her cheek, and the towel.
Matthias went back to sleep…another quiet time from the Lord!
However, while I was putting Matthias back in his crib, Miracle went in the bathroom shut the door and opened the drawer that blocked me from opening the door. She finally opened the door with the most disgusted look on her face, while sticking out her white coated tongue, “I need some water.” She said. And I looked down in the drawer to see the white stuff - DEODORANT.
And so my first workout (or maybe this would be my third workout of the morning) began as I tried to work the deodorant out of her mouth. I tried to explain to Miracle that she needed to put water in her mouth and then spit it in the sink. That didn’t work because the water would be swallowed too quickly for her to spit it out. I tried to observe by the figured scratches on the deodorant how much she may have ingested. I don’t think it was much but the words on the deodorant prompted me to call poison control. First, I had to search for the number for poison control.
(Yeah, yeah, I know I should have had it on the fridge already and I better get ready for more of this with an adventurous boy soon to be mobile. I’ve heard it from many moms and dads.)
Well, poison control said that she would be fine but to give her some water and something else to eat. She was yelling to me while I was on the phone that she was hungry. She picked out fruit snacks and fishy crackers (anything was fine by me at this point just as long as it was edible).
Believe it or not, I had remained very calm and collected so far and if you know me at all, it takes a special quiet time and act of God to keep this drama queen even keel in most situations.

Finally my 2year old was sitting quietly at her lil’ table with her fishy crackers and fruit snacks. I went to quickly to do my hair. I went to check on the silence which is always scary for a mom...some of the water had spilled and the fishy’s were now swimming in her water glass…what next? Oh did I mention that she also spotted the tums and tantrumed because I quickly took them away?
Seriously, what next?
I then heard my phone vibrate. This was another quiet time from the Lord. Pete sent me a text that read, “Psalm 34:3…I love you.”
I decided to not take anymore chances. I got Miracle out to the car. Put Matthias into his car seat still asleep and brought his clothes and diaper to daycare. My plan was to just change Matthias at daycare. My wonderful daycare provider just sent me on my way out the door.

I drove straight to the gym and took a 10minute walk and listened to my music to try to cool my head. It wasn’t really working.
Something within me just wanted to quit. Quit because …. Well the reasons don’t really matter at this point. I just wanted to quit. I battled my thoughts (about my life, working full time, ability to be a mom, how to parent, and the state of my marriage) within with scripture that came to my mind. My spirit is so willing but my flesh is so weak.
It is so easy to think life would be better if we just quit trying or believing or caring.
To make matters even more humorous, my aunt is always telling me to let her know when I can have lunch with her. So I decided, I would call her and let her know that this week would work. She answered her cell phone with such a quiet sleepy voice. Here she was on spring break in Whistler, Canada where it was 6:30 am and I had woken her up. What next? How humiliating!

So I grabbed my book, “Come Away My Beloved” by Frances J Roberts. And leave it to God to speak. The writing I was on was titled Resignation. Now if that isn’t perfect or what? I just love God!
Here are some parts of the reading:
‘Incline thine heart unto Me. For lo, I have an urgent message to give thee. Resign all into My hands-they loved ones as well as thine own self. Be obedient to the still small voice. Thine own imaginings may speak more loudly, but wait upon Me always. Ye shall see the wisdom and the glory in this in due time. Fret not about carnal things, but concern thyself first and always about spiritual values. Truly, My promise is still: “Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of God, and all the other needful things SHALL BE ADDED unto thee.”

So there you have it.
I know what is next.
It is my resignation unto the Lord.
I resign ALL unto HIS hands.
Father, please lift me up in due time.
I love you.
Amen.

No replacement for mommy

Well, my bathroom has:
* two nebulizer cups and "fishy" masks
* two tylenol measuring syringes
* a thermometer
* one almost empty kleenex box
* one full ready to open kleenex box
* two kiddos wheezing and coughing and snotting all over

Yep, you guessed it. Both of the kiddos have been sick for the past four days. Miracle is proving to be tough and is quickly getting back to her normal, challenging two year old with an Attitude with a capital "A".
I have been forced to be a stay at home mom for the past two days and it has not been an easy task. Pete and I hope that some day, I can be home with the children but only getting to be home when they are both sick isn't ideal. You know how it is when you are sick. The days and nights become the same and if one isn't crying for mommy, the other one is. Daddy feels helpless. Mommy wants daddy around but nobody else seems to want him lately. This is by far the worst cold that Matthias has had and the breathing with wheezing, of course, is what makes me pray a lil' harder these days.

I'm not complaining, though, I tried to be so grateful for my time at home with my two lil' blessings. I have prayed my way through the nights and day today feeling so inadequate for the task of being a mother. The Lord really did whisper to me this afternoon by saying, "I created you to be the mother of Miracle and Matthias and you can do it with my help." Struggling to believe this whispering truth...when do parents get trained in teaching and parenting 2 year olds and a degree in nursing to be sure your baby isn't working too too hard to breathe?


So here's what I accomplished today:
*Miracle and I made a lil' picture about camping, fishing, and roasting marshmallows at the campfire. (It was the only project I could find in some old scrapbooking supplies).
*Miracle learned how to sharpen pencils and erase the writing on the paper.
*Miracle challenged mommy's authority and spent 25 minutes locked in her room with her potty chair because she wouldn't let mommy put her diaper on. Mommy won! And no she isn't potty trained yet.
*Matthias slept, cried, whined, coughed, wheezed, ate for 3-4 minutes, slept, cried, whined, coughed...my poor baby just isn't feeling well.
*Miracle and I whipped up some healthy applesauce muffins with hidden veggies in them.
*When daddy came home from work, mommy ran to the gym for a quick 10minute walk.

So, here I am it's 8:35pm and I haven't showered today, smell like baby spit up, wondering if I should stay home another day with Matthias because nobody replaces the touch of a mommy when you're sick...