Easy board book?

The kids and I giggled as I attempted to read this easy board book ( yes that is the exact words on the side of the book) "easy board book". Ha!
It's giggles like these and snuggles like these reading with all 3 kids on my lap. Literally, on my lap. No, my lap isn't big enough but i cant pass up the request by each child to want to be so near to me...i know this wont be true forever. Oh the time is going so fast and they are growing everyday. I want to remember the giggles amidst what I thought would be a simple teach them the A B C's. it basically turned into me making up different dinosaur noises...I think I will just go back to singing the alphabet song tomorrow.

They are broken

I foolishly placed the nativity scene porcelain statues beneath the Christmas tree so we could ponder the wonder of the real meaning of Christmas! Oh they were set so beautifully in the fake white cotton snow that The kids and I so carefully decorated with glitter stars. And then the beautiful Christmas scene ended... Malachi just wanted to experience the nativity with his one year old boyish style of clanging the heads together like drum sticks. And they were broken! Bummed a lil' but moreso brought to realization of the real meaning of Christmas!
I quickly gathered the broken pieces before real blood was shed and set them on the counter. The nativity actually looked more realistic to me now...broken and all. No we don't run around headless these days although most of us have minds that spin with endless to do lists and countless anxious thoughts. But truly aren't we all broken in one way or another just trying to get to the manager to see Jesus, the only Savior of ALL things?
I am a broken person just grateful for the redemption, love, grace, mercy, and transforming power of a relationship with so much more than just a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. He is JESUS the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world (every single sin that breaks me and you to pieces).
And so I decided to leave the nativity scene just sitting broken on the counter because its reality of us all... We are all broken people just needing to draw near to the stable and grasp the good news and great joy that is for ALL people (Luke 2). So won't you join my nativity scene and bring your brokenness to the manger...you won't be alone and he will heal your cuts from the porcelain glass and do so much more than we can ask or imagine. This is the CHRIST in Christmas.

Moving Realizations (Part Two)

It's been 339 days (11 months and 4 days) since God moved  us to Jamestown. And in just 2 days, God is moving our family again. My heart and mind have been processing and reflecting and pondering...I am looking back to remember the goodness of the Lord over these 339 days. I had to go back and read my Moving Realizations Blog Post and to my surprise, here is what I wrote at the end of it,

"And this is just the beginning...I'm afraid to say it but know it's true, God has bigger mountains and moves to come and this MOVE is just preparation." 

It seems a lil' crazy, but God is definitely in it once again. I cannot give you eyes to see or ears to hear and understand it, but God can. And he is truly giving me eyes to see Him in my life and ears to hear Him. God is in the business of the unexpected. This move was definitely not on my radar, but I just love to remember all he has done in the past 339 days and how he has prepared me to move again.

I have realized:

I have loved this lil' two bedroom duplex. It brought me to a place of contentment that I never thought was possible. We termed it our 'mini mansion' and it became more than a roof, it became home. It made me richer in faith and comfort. I will never forget the mouse about the house... the carpet in the kitchen and the shower curtains that I taped to the floor to make the spills bearable... or the many bike rides and walks around the park path that really seemed like our very own private park and bike trail.

My main ministry and priority is one strong muscular man who strives to serve and love Jesus while leading our family and 3 lil' pillow-top pairs of hands that constantly want me for something. And I am excited about this mission...again God is in the unexpected. I was told I wasn't the stay at home mom type. But God doesn't call the fully equipped and ready and expected. He called me...for More of Him.

Christ is all and is in all. The church God provided for me was not in a building. It was through a group of moms that met on Thursday mornings, it was through one on one walks, talks, and praying with friends, through email biblestudy, and it was through the growing pains of learning to be a fulltime homemaker and mommy. I prayed for God's goodness and He allowed me to taste and see that He is good. My tears well up to think about how beyond faithful He has been to me. I cannot believe the level of friendship and spiritual heart work that happens when God's people pray together.

I learned and realized even more that I can be who I am in Christ, and not hold back, and God moves supernaturally. I am not my own. I belong to Jesus. I want to be raw...for my heart to overpower when my face is makeup free, my hair in a ponytail and my yoga paints on. I want to live a Raw Jesus life...nothing glamourous just pure wholesome fresh breaths that could only come from Almighty God and the one and only Savior Jesus Christ.

And last I am realizing that God is on the move and He is inviting me to come. So I will expect the unexpected. Truth be told, I don't want to start over. I have formed cherished friendships, a godly contentment that couldn't have been gifted to me any other way, a deepened faith, and honestly I thought I had arrived at my destination...but as I said before, "this is just the beginning." As I read my bible, God's nature and work is complete. He never starts over...He just continues moving on and says, "come!" (see Revelation 22) Jesus is coming soon! There is not time to get comfortable and lay roots like I thought.
No, He is The Root.
He is the Alpha and Omega.
He is The Beginning and The End.
And that 'He' is all I need to make it through another UHAUL full of boxes, a new space to make our own, more strangers hoping to call my friends, and a faith that shakes with doubt and fear but is steadfast in remembering what God has done. I am excited and so grateful for the last 339 days. Thank you my Father for all you've given to me. Amen.

A Selfless Word

It's 5 minute Friday and I'm linking up to keep myself accountable to blogging because i like to write and remember my journey...


These are the rules for 5 minute friday
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

The word for this week is: WELCOME

Timer set
Go...

She's only 4. Almost 5 she would say. I asked her what she thought welcome means. She answered, "to have someone into your home; have them for a picnic." and then as I watched her sweet personality and listened to her soft joyful giggle, I recalled seeing her at preschool when I picked her up the other day. Two friends ran to her and hugged her as she was running to me. She loves her friends. She has always said that is her favorite thing about preschool.
So I asked her, "Do you have the most friends at preschool?"
"Yes."
"Why do you have so many friends?"
and she answered the most precious answer, "Because  they are special to me."
I think she gets it. She understands what welcome means...to know that God created each of us special and treat them that way. Welcome...it's a word that is selfless and she knows it at 4 years old. What a miracle she is to me.

Stop!

Wide Devastation

It's five minute friday. Click the icon above to find out what it's all about. Basicall, I set the timer and write for 5 minutes and then publish it.

The word for today is

WIDE

Timer Set. Go.

I was standing in my most frequent sactuary. Yes, on the rug in front of my kitchen sink washing the dishes. I have found it to truly be a sanctuary for me these day of tiny fingers and voices constantly at my feet, hugging my legs. So I wash the dishes with the ipod playing worship songs and I tune it all out. Eyes closed. My heart wide open. Asking Jesus to overwhelm me and consume me more than the days worth of whining. dirty diapers. disappointments. worry. bickering...oh all those things of marriage and motherhood. And then I heard it. The song playing was by Watermark called Captivate Us. And the words "Devastate us with your presence" struck me so deep. My eyes opened wide and the tears formed just thinking about it.
Am I devastated? Completely overwhelmed and shocked to think of Jesus on the cross. Do I get it? That he did it for me? He rescued me from the dominion of darkness. Jesus, your arms were stretched wider than they could go when the nails hit your wrists. The blood ran down creating a wider river to save us all. Oh Lord, yes, devastate me with your presence and find my arms wide open and m heart all for you.

Stop.

I found this link below on utube - I am devastated.
Love so much deeper and wider than I can understand.
Breathe Him In.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT5sSzTG12M&feature=youtube_gdata_player

God's cupboard

I was doing the dishes this afternoon and Malachi decided to help me stay busy even longer.

His little smile so refreshing and sweet; The weariness of the mundane tasks of serving my family seemed to fade a tad. Have you ever wondered if God looks at us as if we are creating more work for Him or as If we are reversing the work he has done? I recalled the verse from Isaiah 43:13 Yes, and from ancient days I am he.
No one can deliver out of my hand.
When I act, who can reverse it?" (Isaiah 43:13 NIV)
I serve a mighty God whose work and ways I cannot reverse! How exciting it is to think that I can be a part of God's supernatural if I walk by faith and not sight...so for just a moment I'll forget about the cupboard full of dishes now on the floor. God's cupboard isn't full of dishes; it is full of promises for you and me to claim and believe. And when God hears He acts and no one can reverse it. I love what it says in the earlier verses in Isaiah 43 (go ahead open the cupboard doors and read it for yourself). We are His! You and I belong to Him and where ever He puts us cannot be reversed.
Amen
&
Goodnight!

6 eyes focus on me...

I have been missing my blogging so it's back to try 5 minute friday in hopes I can get back into writing. So today the word is: FOCUS.

Timer set. Just 5 minutes to write.
Go...


My one year old started crying and the alarm rang at the same time. My eyes struggled to focus on the red numbers on the clock...6:00. Already? I pick up my baby or is he considered a toddler now? He snuggles in and my focus is stolen by him completely. The baby soft skin and hair with tiny fingers stretching up to find my hand to hold. I wake up at 6 to spend time with Jesus but sharing a bedroom with the one year old doesn't allow for me to sneak away. So my body sinks deep into what was always called my Jesus chair before my babies were born and I begin to pray in the dark. My focus? Praying for my baby. I pray until my mind dozes off. Without the light on it's difficult to wake up. And I remember Jesus in the garden warning the disciples to stay awake and pray. Oh I am so weak. I am just a man. He, Jesus, is fully man fully God. And greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. So I struggle to focus once again. This time my finger slides from left to right to turn on my ipod in the dark. My bible app will do this morn. Jesus can you speak to me?
My day has started. There is no turning back time. My "focus" is dozing off once again too I think. I put him back into the small pack-n-play that once seemed so big and he so small. I blink and he grows.
The leftover oatmeal is in the microwave and the kids can barely wait. They eat a muffin as a breakfast appetizer...ha who knew there was such a thing?!
I'm everywhere at once. Oh how we do what we do as moms? Seems the kids just got oatmeal and I'm cutting a banana for the babes and they already want seconds. The dishes piled up from yesterday and the laundry that sat in the dryer for two days is now in the basket on the couch. Oh, my potty training 3 year old needs to go...all is stopped and my focus is completely his. Another success and our hands are washed; soap suds stand in the sink. Finally, I can get a few bites of oatmeal. I fight to focus on more than my changing hormones that toss my emotions and feelings so quickly, my patience is tried and tested beyond. Where is my focus?! It's clear to see the 6 eyes that are focused on me. It's true. They are my focus. They are my ministry. I am constantly reminded. I am always blessed. I say I love you. I say I love me. And they giggle. We sing. We dance. So I fix my tired eyes and pray that Jesus would be an overcomer of myself...
I will fix my eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of my faith and family.

Stop.



EVERLASTING ARMS

My heart has been pondering since last night about the last line of my prayer post...that I want to be free falling into God's arms...
And then before I went to sleep I read the mentioned verses from my Jesus Calling devotional, it was as if He (God Almighty) wrote me a love letter to confirm that He is ready if I am...

Deuteronomy 33:27 (paraphrased by me, personalized for me or you if you replace my name with yours)
"I am the eternal God and I am your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

Speechless?!
This is the one and only God.

And so I have been feeding on His words to me today in my daily struggles and joys. As I carry Malachi, my 9 month old baby around, shifting from hip to hip to rest my tired arms. As I snuggle with my daughter before bed and her lil' whisper, "tighter mom, hold me tighter" and I squeeze my wrapped around arms a lil' tighter...

God's words hit me in a new way. He wants to hold me. He wants to catch me when I risk the free fall for more of Him. And His arms are EVERLASTING. His strength never runs out. There is no readjusting from side to side or setting me down for a much needed break. His arms will hold me and lift me out of pits and catch me as I risk it and allow my disappointments of this earthly life to free fall me back to Him.

His Arms Will Uphold Me...and my family.
Amen!

Just a lil' earlier Jesus! An intimate prayer...

Jesus. I need you so much more than I really want to believe. I need a savior. An authority and strength that is majestically supreme. And you are all o need! Thank you!
Wondering. Pondering this road that Pete and I are walking on yet lately feels we are crawling on...3 kids so tiny and needy...I fail daily to do what I am called. Struggling to get up earlier than the kids...my day starts before I give it to you. And it feels too late to begin it right. Cereal bowls need to filled. Diapers need to be changed. Laundry needs to be done. Baseball wants to be played and the dress up clothes are calling to be filled with lil limbs to make believe the fairy tales we all dream of as little girls. Morning naps and lunchtime already. Oh Jesus please wake me up to be alone with you! Oh please? I can't see how I will make it through this life without my time with you...I want to honor you, respect my husband and be a crown for his life, to live a life that lil eyes ears and hearts see Jesus through in this imperfect constant battle ground. I have no clue why we are here in Jamestown in this lil mini mansion with more than I think I can handle...unsure of what the future holds. Questioning church work and mothering and longing for so much different than the same. Jesus! Please fall down upon me now and take over. I am ready to be free falling into your arms so consumed by your mercy and grace. This is my prayer this night. Amen.

Experience the GLORY...!

I want to start blogging again so I'm going to do a few link-up parties for direction. 

So today, I am joining...

Here are the rules that I am following:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Today's word and topic is PATH

Okay here is goes...start the timer!

GO!

PATH

"And they were calling to one another: "holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."
These were the words that started my day.
There is a circular path that is in front of our place. It has been a blessing. A few girlfriends and I have walked and talked and prayed through motherhood and life. Glory!
I escape from mothering for a few minutes and run. The ipod and ear buds perfectly in place. I run. I worship. I feel a cool breeze and think it might be cold but then I realize it is still 80 degrees and humid outside. It is Glory! I lift my hands in worship to the song and run. I feel invisible. I imagine that day when I will forever say Holy, holy, holy.
And then today, the kids showed me how to get back on the path...see the picture below.
It's so much fun to see how a new remote control monster truck can create a new path for the kids. And then I ponder...who is running the remote for my engine.
I walk across the circular path and look down at my feet...it's a cross formed from sticks. I say Glory!
It's a good path.

STOP!

Battle and Perfection Combined!

God created me.
I love knowing this and pondering this.
There is a longing in my heart that wants to continually know more and be less  for MORE of Jesus...
I want to experience greatness of my Creator's perfect plan and good purpose.

I love watching my lil' almost 9 month old experience and learn how he was created...the clapping hands, the crawling, the smiling, the never ending exploring with this hands and mouth and tongue...isn't it beyond us how God created us...our souls, our hearts, our physical bodies, and our minds.
I love listening to my 2 1/2 year old use words I didn't even think he could retain after just reading a book once or twice.
I love watching my 4 1/2 year old challenge her physical body to stand up on her bike as she pedals, to jump higher, and run faster because God made her body able. I watch her sing songs and do actions at vacation bible school.

I see through my children the work and ways of the Creator. And it is so good and life giving.

Yet, I think I can do this thing called life on. my. own. way. too. often.
So, I finally decided to dare go there.
Women of the Word, you know where I'm talking about...the woman we all dread meeting...the wife of noble character, but who can find her? So, I went there...to Proverbs chapter 31 to study with a Good Morning Girls Email Group.



And it has made me realize even more...I love that God created me.
I love even more that he is not finished molding me to the way He designed me to be.
I have been whispered to.
He has called me to be rare. A wife of noble character. The word noble actually comes from the Hebrew word chayil which means a "person of battle". I am in battle and my commander in chief is the Lord. I must go through HIM.
So, I'm putting my armor on...amidst the chaos and busyness of the American way of life knowing full well that God sees me as perfect and spotless through the blood of the lamb Jesus.

Created for Jesus. He is my perfection so I no longer have to dread Proverbs 31 for the battle belongs to the Lord and I can be a woman living well.

Moving faster...

All 3 kiddos are learning how to move faster...

Miracle learned to ride bike without training wheels!

Matthias figured out how to pedal his tricycle instead of flinstoning it!

Malachi is close to crawling!

For those of you who are always requesting more pics of the kiddos ( interbank friends)...please leave a comment for me so I know you enjoyed the update.

Shoes...

Matthias was so proud to be trying to fill daddy's shoes..and it just happened that he was still wearing his jammies that say, "daddy's 01 rookie"...oh how wants to be just like his father!

Then I was taken deeper in this thought as I have been pondering Holy Week, the week leading up to Easter Sunday. I am so glad that I don't have to experience what it is like to stand in my Heavenly Father's shoes. Yet, so many days, I think I want control...hmmm, once again my precious lil' children bring me to a true place of instant humility and spiritual growth.

Do you know what happened to Jesus this week? Do you know that Jesus put on his father's shoes??

Jesus, he didn't just try on his daddy's shoes and smile big with pride...there was so much more. He pleaded with Daddy as he walked the road. "Going a little farther, he(Jesus) fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."(taken from Matthew 26:39) 

And then this is just some of what the Daddy (Almighty God of the Universe) had to watch and bear..."The soldiers took Jesus and they stripped him and d put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in from of him and mocked him. "Hail, king of the Jews!" they said. they spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him...(Matthew 27:27-31)

And so the shoes were taken from his feet and Jesus changed from a son to a Savior, THE SAVIOR for you and for me.

I can see the people asking, "what happened to the boy who wore the shoes? You know, the perfect boy who became a man and healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, loved the alien, cherished the children, and was tempted in every way yet did not sin..when we killed him on the cross...where is he now?" And the angels came and answered, "HE IS RISEN", he wore the shoes until they could not be worn any more and all authority in heaven and earth has been given to Him forever and ever.

 And so I cling to the truth - the truth that there was a son, God's only Son, JESUS, who filled His Father's shoes because God loves me and He loves you and couldn't settle for just a proud son smiling in His big shoes. He had to declare victory forever...and this is just the beginning of the story...And then my other son showed me what we all need to do..

so won't you be like Malachi and start to eat the word of God and let you life be changed? You will never think of shoes or anything in your life the same...

Nothing But...Beautiful Love

He is my Babe! My husband, that is. I have called him that for years now.
He came home for lunch (like usual).
Without warning, to even myself let alone my babe, my mouth spewed ugliness...of craziness, resentment, pride, comparison, lack of understanding, desiring something other than the portion God had given me that day. Or so I thought.
The kids were standing on chairs "helping me" prepare the salads for lunch making it most difficult to work in our tight lil space. Of course there were so many other mommy moments to work up to this point. "I want to go to work and come home with lunch waiting for me. I want to be able to drive alone to work. I want these kids to listen and obey me. I want...to get away." I stopped my spewing...as I watched my Babe with wonder on his face. He should have just went back to work. He didn't deserve my spew. I was hard and unbreakable in my spirit. You know sometimes life (as a mom) is beyond my ability. Most times it is.
I apologized. "I am sorry you came home to this lunch today." and my babe looked at me and said, " oh do you need a hug?" I moved away. He came near and forced my unwilling arms around him. And. I. Broke.
The tears fell down his button up shirt and it was all I could do to keep my sob from becoming vocal.
It felt good. I needed that love. That was all I needed. LOVE. Sometimes I am so resistant to love when it's the only thing I should be accepting.
Thank you my babe for loving me. It still brings tears to my eyes. Because God gave me a different portion through you that day. He showed me my resistance to receive love, pure selfless love. Just allowing God and my Babe to love me through the mundane, the pain, and the daily mommy life.
I am nothing in my spew but everything in his arms said he loved me!
Oh how I am broken yet God makes it beautiful.

Moments with Miracle

When Miracle got mad at me today she looked at me and said, "you destroyed my day."

Tonight we had popcorn before bed. As I was tucking her in she said there was some popcorn stuck in her throat and she said, "since Jesus is in there He will get it out."
And then she asked, "do we have to swallow Jesus to get Him in our heart?"

Maybe I should change my blog title to 'Swallowing Him In'. Ha!

Moving Realizations

So it's been 82 days (2 months and 21 days) since God moved us to Jamestown, North Dakota. Trust me I know that I know that God moved us here...and let me say I am truly thankful. My heart in deepest place has peace that passes understanding...I can barely explain it. But that doesn't make life easy or without challenge and my heart still struggles. And if any of you who read this blog know me, my daily life doesn't come without thousands of hormones, dramatic emotions, and deep down heart and soul. It's just part of who he made me.
So what's the significance of 82 days? Here a few of my latest realizations:

I have realized that I have never been more homesick than now...it's been just long enough to realize I'm not dreaming and this is reality. We moved from our home and our community of close friendships and acquaintances and comfort. You know the saying "you never know what you've got until it's gone"? Well I knew what I had but afer moving now I really know what I had! So I am going through the grieving process. If I'm honest, some days I don't want to try... I don't want to make this home...I don't want to try to make new friends because I can't replace what God knit together in Minnesota in 7 years...yet God is teaching me His plan and reminding me this was His move.

And so I've realized that God's moves are not the world's. With eternal perspective and purposes as God's priority, He has been calling His very own throughout the bible to get up and leave their family and friends and move. So we obeyed. And it has felt like a fight against what the world preaches. And often throughout my days I feel as is I'm fighting my flesh and selfish desires...(you know when I just want a moment kidfree and get a minute to myself only to realize the ipod downloaded all kids music) but I know that this battle is not of flesh and blood but of the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly realms. We are fighting the world's ways. The world didn't call me to stay at home with our three children. It was God. The wold didn't call us to sell our overwhelmingly depreciated house and downsize to a tiny 500 square foot duplex rental. It was God. The world didn't bring my husband and I together. It was God. And the world didn't create these three children in my womb. It was God. My humility is teaching me to surrender and follow because truth is: when God acts (moves) who can reverse it? I think I'll fight the world knowing this.

I've realized and been reminded of my identity and it is in Christ. The other day Miracle was playing with another 4 year old boy who was talking and shouting so disrespectfully to the other kids. My heart was sad to hear it and then Miracle started to repeat his words too. Oh my mother's heart...I can't keep her from the world. I can't hide her from this talk and these ways. But God jumped into helped me parent her and that night we talked about remembering who we were - we are children of the Most High God, the King of Kings. We talked about who we represent - we represent Jesus, the Savior of the world who died to save us all with unconditional love and eternal life forever. We talked about living and talking like Jesus would want us to...and Miracle said, "I know Mom. I will help him see who he is." And she gave me a great big hug of sincerity and understanding. Thank you God for intervening into this teachable moment for me. The last week and a half, I have been fighting my desire to hide. Hide because I am ashamed that I am struggling, homesick, lonely. But God showed me that this is my life and my story for His glory and honor. I realized that I am passionate about knowing, claiming and living out my identity in Christ and helping others do the same.
So what does my identity in Christ claim?
It claims that I am Accepted (even when I am in the midst of all strangers in this new place.
It claims that I am Secure (even when the finances don't add up and the square footage seems too lil).
It claims I am Significant. This has been my focus these past days as God has been pulling me out of my downcast state. Because God moved us here...I claim my significance in Him. In Christ, I am His personal witness. I am God's co-worker (when the world talks down stay-at-home moms and submissive wives). I have been chosed and appointed to bear fruit (God has a great purpose and work for us in this new community). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (and no one is the same and I love this thought because I will never replace my friends and community back "home" but God will add additional blessings and unique individuals to our lives as we strive towards our eternal lives. And an important indentity to claim of my significance: I may approach God with freedom and confidence (I need to know I am free and can live confidently in Christ when this world constantly tries to put me in bondage to shut me down from God's moves and work in my life.)

And so after 82 days, you better believe that for me the days and nights have come with challenges, trials, raw fresh emotions, lonliness at times,claiming my indentity in Christ constantly, and hormone changes (that include so much hair loss that the bathroom drain stopper is constantly clogged and the once a week vacuum plan isn't enough...in my defense my baby is only 5 months old).

And this is just the beginning...I'm afraid to say it but know it's true, God has bigger mountains and moves to come and this MOVE is just preparation. Thank you Lord that heaven is my real home and if I'm honest once again I'm most homesick for you Jesus. Come, Jesus and fill our lives and the lives of others with more of you until you return. AMEN

They keep me breathing deep...

Life with my lil' ones keeps me breathing deep. Most days it's the deep satisfying refreshing breath; you know the ones you take right after a good workout...mmmm so de-stressing and life giving! Other days it's the deep ' I'm counting to 10 and putting myself in time out' breath. Either way I decided it was overdue for some pics of my fresh air these days in this mini mansion.

Handwritten with your very own fingerprints!

It has all been written.
My thoughts are not new to some but revelational to me at times.
That's why I love life with my savior and best friend Jesus Christ. I love His constant way of always having the perfect words for each situation. And as i stop to listen to His promptings, I am forever changed.
If my humanness wouldn't get in the way of heeding His humble leadership and guidance in my life so often I would be so much closer to who God created me to be...But I am a work in progress. And that is okay. Actually God knew that is how we all would be. So I love to write about God working on me, teaching me, changing me, and even life when I am stubborn or hard of hearing or blind to see Him my Jesus at work in my life.
I have been missing Jesus in my life these days to be honest. The days and nights have once again grown quickly similar since Malachi, my 4 month old, caught a nasty cold. So I persevere in survival mode. The daily routine goes out the window and I just minute by minute make it through the day. However, it is days like these that I crave more of Jesus the way that I know to breathe Him in best...time alone in reading my bible and writing prayers to Him of my aching weary heart and body. With a 4 year old, 2 year old, and 4 month old, the craving for Jesus must still be satisfied. After all, I have always said and will continue to believe I was created for Jesus time; we all were.
So for a few days I was moving my bible and journal from room to room trying to sneak a Minute here and there between the game of Hi Ho Cheerio and playing cars and house and bouncing and burping my baby...isn't there an easier way? I mean I have dropped my pen and accidentally wrote on the furniture more than I have opportunity to write in my journal with the 3 lil' ones constantly on top of me, literally. Can you see the picture?
I saw my sister the other day. She has three lil' kids too and I asked her, "when do you get time with the Lord?" She answered that mom once told her some days your quiet times with Jesus are through watching and playing with your children.
Quite a revelational thought and then I found it. The truth to prove it in this season of self sacrifice we at least don't have to sacrifice Jesus time and His written words for my life.
Matthew chapter 11 ²⁵ At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. ²⁶ Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.
Jesus wants to speak to me and reveal His way and life to me through my children. And He does.
My journals are now full of scribbles from my children journaling with me. There is a deeper connection and sweetness to handwriting. I mean isn't it the best to see your child write there own name for the first time? With all the technology it has been lost somewhat but handwriting is part of our individual uniqueness. That is part of the reason I love cards - receiving cards and sending cards. It is a different relationship connection.

(Thank you DaySpring for inspiring me to send more cards by sending me some free greeting cards). I just sent my handwritten revelation and the truth from Matthew 11 to my sister. I had to thank her for her wisdom. I later found out that she loves getting the mail. And I mean LOVES getting the mail so much that sometimes she checks the box twice a day. It made me excited to send more cards with a handwritten note and signature.

We all were made to crave the written word in an intimate way that says "I was thinking of you and no one else needs to read it." From my mailbox to hers a connection is made that advanced technology has yet to capture and I love it. Oh the blessing of handwritten things...to me they are fingerprints straight from the Creator of the world. So as my day ends today my normal quiet time of bible reading and journaling didn't happen but I was blessed through my children and their lil voices and lil hands as they wrote their names in the snow, played with fingerpaints, hugged me and sang to me about joy as they put there hands overhead to spell the word joy with their arms.

Pains of childbirth continue....

NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!

But after last night, I have decided that the pains of childbirth continue for as long as one has children. It was a rough night (the order of happenings of my night and please note that I had not even gotten to bed yet when it all began):
*Nurse Malachi
*Miracle is up screaming bloody murder because her upper lip below her nose is so chapped that it is giving her agonizing pain.She was so terribly mad at the kleenex and how bad it hurt her but how bad she needed one constantly to stop the faucet.
So I took a quick trip to Walmart and thank God for boogie wipes and cool touch kleenex tissues and aquaphor...
*She was finally settled down in the comfort of my arms in our bed. She had to literally be in my arms and I was almost falling off our queen size bed. But isn't it amazing how comforting a mom and dad can me?
*Malachi is crying and hungry again.
*Oh great Miracle just pee'd all over our bed. Everything was soaked through to the mattress.
*Strip the bedding. Wash Miracles legs up with a warm wash cloth. Get her some new underwear.
*The hall light was on and so when we went into the kids room, Matthias woke up or was awake from his cold or the light or God only knows what...
*Both kids were complaining and wanted me to lay with them.
*Miracle needs more water.
*Matthias has a booger.
*Miracle in bed.
*Lay in bed with Matthias.
*Miracle wakes up and needs mommy to cuddle with her. I go to lay with her and she is painfully snoring to breathe through her super duper clogged nose that I cannot sleep...
*Back to cuddle with Mattthias who is still awake....
*Pete gets up to go to work. He worked at 5:30a.m. today.
*Matthias thinks its morning.
*Thank you God for Praise Baby dvd to lay and the couch and watch together...
*Malachi is hungry again...

Good Morning!
So, do not hold me to theological meaning or context of this verse for today but it seems appropriate that I write the same letter that Paul wrote the people in Galatians 4:19
"My dear children (Miracle, Matthias, and Malachi), for whom I again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you (and me, your mommy).

All I can do to grin and bear the pains of children is to hold this truth tightly in my tired arms from holding dear children all night and to pray that it penetrates my heart and exhausted mind that may lose it today from emotions...
Colossians 1:29 "To this end I labor, struggling with ALL HIS ENERGY which so powerfully works in me."

Thank you God that your word is living and active and the absolute truth that doesn't disappoint.
Believing you Jesus for all the energy I do not have.

AMEN