Just a lil' earlier Jesus! An intimate prayer...

Jesus. I need you so much more than I really want to believe. I need a savior. An authority and strength that is majestically supreme. And you are all o need! Thank you!
Wondering. Pondering this road that Pete and I are walking on yet lately feels we are crawling on...3 kids so tiny and needy...I fail daily to do what I am called. Struggling to get up earlier than the kids...my day starts before I give it to you. And it feels too late to begin it right. Cereal bowls need to filled. Diapers need to be changed. Laundry needs to be done. Baseball wants to be played and the dress up clothes are calling to be filled with lil limbs to make believe the fairy tales we all dream of as little girls. Morning naps and lunchtime already. Oh Jesus please wake me up to be alone with you! Oh please? I can't see how I will make it through this life without my time with you...I want to honor you, respect my husband and be a crown for his life, to live a life that lil eyes ears and hearts see Jesus through in this imperfect constant battle ground. I have no clue why we are here in Jamestown in this lil mini mansion with more than I think I can handle...unsure of what the future holds. Questioning church work and mothering and longing for so much different than the same. Jesus! Please fall down upon me now and take over. I am ready to be free falling into your arms so consumed by your mercy and grace. This is my prayer this night. Amen.