And they are getting older. I notice it in their smiles from those tiny triangle preschool teeth, to the six year old with bottom ones that wiggle, and that tween stage and smile of all size teeth in every direction that are starting to appear more adult like every day. These are the changes that every parent longs to remember and cherish. These are physical change, such gracious reminders to grasp the strings that kids try to tie to doors to pull them from one season of childhood to the next. Change is sensitive and sometimes I can get stuck. Stuck to a depth that the thread string won't pull me through, sometimes I need a tug-o-war type o' strength rope, and more than not through these moving realizations, I need a chain to pull me from the pit of falling into belief of my vain imaginations and futile thoughts. The move was blessed again with many details of His Amazing Grace and provisions that move us to new places of refreshment and challenged faith. It's been many months now since we swam out of one city and into another city, the U-Haul filled with boxes and no room for much but to remind myself to stop and breathe and circle up with my children and pray. These are treasures of change. God's grace so fills my empty view and fear of what the future holds. As I have mentioned before, the boxes labels continue to get sweeter with handwriting other than my own and take twice as long to pack with such determination to help.
His mercies are new every morning,with every box, with every child. These lil' changes, I must handle with less of me and more of them. Yes, Jesus, I want to echo your prayer to Our Father, "less of me, and more of you." This is our calling. God made me a woman, a wife and a mother. God made my babe, a man, quiet leader of our home, the provider and passionately seeking endlessly for God's plan to break the chains that bind, fighting with weapons not of this world for a victory; a new legacy for generations to come. This is the reason, God continues to hem us in before and behind (Psalm 139). He graciously and gently continues to remind me...The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...right, I shall not want. Oh, so many things my flesh can flare to consuming flames that take more than myself to burn away my selfish desires. My man is so gentle, so beautifully broken, so hopeful for God's greatness. He leads us as God moves us to streams of living water that we often do not see. The waves of emotion run high as all transitions are certain to bring. In the valley, it is so plush. Each move, we battle fear, insecurity, wonder, and twisted excitement...and yet we cling to a peace that passes understanding. We know that God's ways are not the world's and not for our own understanding. God's sovereignty and goodness are an unfathomable gift to explain and one that I pray each can experience. I am so weak. I am so broken, so sinful, so moved in more ways than literal. After this 5th move in 4 years, my heart cries the words of these songs...
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...my chains are gone, I've been set free,..So look up, look up this is the song of the redeemed, it's gonna be alright, turn your eyes upon Jesus.Amazing Grace...My Chains are Gone
He is our chain to pull us out, and breaks the chains that bind us. My man and I strive for this prayer to be answered...we pray to be CHAIN - BREAKERS in Jesus Christ, our Savior, Our Lord. May He forever move us closer until heaven calls us home. Amen and amen.