Are you a good baby?

It's a common question asked to new moms...whether it is her first baby or second or third baby...
 "Is he a good baby?"
This question has been poking me lately. Poking me with lil' pangs

pangs of guilt...so Malachi is my third baby and so i have two other children to compare him to when answering this question. And with all the family and friend Christmas gatherings I have cousins and other moms to watch as well. Oh all this comparison just makes me feel guilty for thinking maybe he isn't that good of a baby or maybe it is just my parenting or my diet affecting my breastmilk or...maybe he just likes to cry and burp and spit and is having his own pangs thus far...but seriously, what mommy wnts to acknowledge or believe that her baby isn't good?

pangs of wonder...since pondering of Jesus' birth at Christmas, I have thought much about having this conversation with Mary: I imagine approaching the stable just days after Jesus was born and just before they are going to leave their 'hospital'. "so Mary is he a good baby?" Would she answer with reflections of when the angel came to her with the news that she would become pregnant through the power of the Spirit and have God's son recalling her humility and acceptance of this calling on her life? Or would she respond through the more immediate realities of her sore body from child birth, her engorged breasts and possible sore nipples from the newness of breastfeeding, her exhausted state after being up all night and all day as if there wasn't a difference, and her less then adequate physical environment of a barn where the echo of a baby crying could be piercing and earth shaking...? Can I be like Mary and not compare when I know that the creator of the universe has been so good to me and woven together so delicately my 3 blessings? Can I have the humble perspective that life is so much greater than me and that finally my career has changed from daily collection calls that impact not to a life of daily mothering with discipline, fun, hugs, and lots of creativity to guide and guard 3 precious lil souls and hearts straight back to the only savior Jesus Christ who was once a good baby Himself. Isn't he amazing to become just like one of us?!

pangs of discouragement...even now as I sit to write this blog, my precious lil' Malachi (messenger of God) is crying to be held and now I am typing one handed...seems life with a good baby is full of cuddles, bouncing, walking, standing, and a large flannel blanket that I call a burp rag.

pangs of inspiration...yet I have been inspired these days; inspired to take this question to the Lord. Facts are that I feel like a baby these days. With all the changes in my life, i find myself wanting my mommy... And then I realize who I really need is my creator God Almighty himself. I need Him when I feel lonely in the midst of playing with laundry baskets as if they were motorcycles and minivans. I need Him when I don't wake up before the kids and so I miss my opportunity for quiet Jesus time and a possible shower. I need Him when the cereal and juice spill on the floor for the 2nd time and I see no fruit for my labor. And sometimes I need Him to catch my tears as I cry in my exhaustive state because life is overwhelming when my selfishness starts to drive my life...selfishness that just wants the kids to be sleeping early enough to enjoy a game of pinochle with my hubby, selfishness that longs to just be still and soak in the word of God, and then the selfishness to want my friends that I left back in Minnesota...
So for today I am probably not a good baby peacefully resting in the arms of God. But I am so thankful that it isn't my goodness that God is counting on. My verse for today from the verse cards in my bathroom reminded me of whose goodness life depends on - Psalm 31:9 "your goodness is so great!..."
and that is enough for me at least I am asking God to satisfy me because my baby is crying once again, my 2 year old spilled again, and my four year old said she needs the iPod because she doesn't have any good toys to play with...oh baby! Thankfully God is good and I know it!

Oh for Goodness Sake...

For the past year, I have had Psalm 27 typed out and hanging up in my office to ponder. And there have been a few verses that have always stung my heart strings:
verse 1  The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
verse 4 One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gave upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
verse 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek.
verse 13-14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

So I was reminded again of these verses as I packed up my office on my last day of work for Interbank after 7 years to move onto the calling that God has for the Jensen family: a job for Pete, my husband, in Jamestown, North Dakota and a calling for me to finally be home with the 3 children that God so perfectly formed within my womb and so graciously continues to bless us with. God's call came quickly and the move happened without warning, basically. My head is still spinning and still thinks this might all be a dream or that we are just on a vacation or that I am just taking an extended maternity leave. But regardless of it all, it really happened...check out this timeline and pictures of proof:

October 31st - Pete accepted the job
November 2nd - Elizabeth, Malachi and Tracy drove to Jamestown, ND and looked at 12 rental places in 4 hours.
November 7th - I went back to work at Interbank to put my final 2 weeks in.
November 8th - Miracle got headlice...let's not talk about this challenge (maybe this part was a dream....)

Jamestown, ND can't be vacation, Pete and I took a vacation from November 11 through November 16 to Florida we flew so Pete could play drums in the worship band for a youth pastors conference. Malachi loved the ocean!

We said goodbye to our wonderful daycare provider, Michelle. She was a heaven sent blessing from the Lord for the last 3 1/2 years. My tears come quickly with thoughts of her and my love runs deep. She was a lil' of that goodness that the Lord talks about in Psalm 27.

On November 19th, we packed up our 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house and drove away to move into our 2 bedroom duplex on November 20th.

On November 21st our new reality hit. Pete started his new job and I began to digest that I now get to invest my time into 3 precious treasures from heaven full time...

So the joy and challenges of sacrifices to make this happen began...

 3 in 1 Bedroom

Can 2 sleep in 1 crib?

Miracle went from being shy and not ever wanting to go to sunday school or sing at our church in Minnesota to being a dove in the Jamestown church children's christmas program and sang her heart out!



Now Miracle and I rock side ponytails together...And Matthias and I love to wake up before the rest and eat breakfast and then eat some more when Mira wakes up...

 Love notes from my man...loving this new move!

I love this dish soap since there is no dishwasher but my two hands...i actually cherish this time as my daily "alone" time. Jesus washes my sins away as I seek His face while  washing dishes...

My Caribou Coffee replacement...and if you are wondering my kids and I follow the statement on the mug daily!

This is a picture of my carpeted kitchen...oh dear...but if you seek that black thing on the picture that is actually one of the magnets in the $2 shower curtain that I bought and taped to the floor for easier daily cleanup of spills and messes...

Yes, the nasty challenge - that is a mouse trap. If you want a fun dramatic true story just ask me about the mouse in our house. I never asked to be Cinderella...

I have a bear cubbie in  my house now too. Miracle earned her vest at the Wednesday night Awana church program by memorizing 3 bible verses in one week!

My lil' reindeer! I can't believe he is already 3 months old...and he just slept 10 hours straight 2 nights ago...must be because I can feed him lots during the day now. I sure don't miss pumping at work!

So with all the changes that have happened so fast I have started to see more of the Lord's goodness in our lives. It's a richness that money and a bigger house and more space can't compete with.

 I am so thankful that God's house can forever be my dwelling place as the Psalm says. I cling to the promise that God can be my stronghold when there are so many things that could put me in bondage or drag my focus into a pit. And I constantly am reminded in my frustrations and tough times of learning the new ropes of everything that I need to seek His face. And so I wait upon the Lord...for more of His ways in our life...and some days I say, "thank you Lord for your Goodness." And some days I say, "oh, for goodness sake Lord help me..now, please."

And in the midst of the move, transitions, a 3 month old nursing baby...

It's Christmas Time...the tree is lil'....but the meaning is largest...the Savior of the World was Born!

And that is definitely for more than GOODNESS SAKE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Rejoice that Christ was born so we don't just have Mas.