6 eyes focus on me...

I have been missing my blogging so it's back to try 5 minute friday in hopes I can get back into writing. So today the word is: FOCUS.

Timer set. Just 5 minutes to write.
Go...


My one year old started crying and the alarm rang at the same time. My eyes struggled to focus on the red numbers on the clock...6:00. Already? I pick up my baby or is he considered a toddler now? He snuggles in and my focus is stolen by him completely. The baby soft skin and hair with tiny fingers stretching up to find my hand to hold. I wake up at 6 to spend time with Jesus but sharing a bedroom with the one year old doesn't allow for me to sneak away. So my body sinks deep into what was always called my Jesus chair before my babies were born and I begin to pray in the dark. My focus? Praying for my baby. I pray until my mind dozes off. Without the light on it's difficult to wake up. And I remember Jesus in the garden warning the disciples to stay awake and pray. Oh I am so weak. I am just a man. He, Jesus, is fully man fully God. And greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. So I struggle to focus once again. This time my finger slides from left to right to turn on my ipod in the dark. My bible app will do this morn. Jesus can you speak to me?
My day has started. There is no turning back time. My "focus" is dozing off once again too I think. I put him back into the small pack-n-play that once seemed so big and he so small. I blink and he grows.
The leftover oatmeal is in the microwave and the kids can barely wait. They eat a muffin as a breakfast appetizer...ha who knew there was such a thing?!
I'm everywhere at once. Oh how we do what we do as moms? Seems the kids just got oatmeal and I'm cutting a banana for the babes and they already want seconds. The dishes piled up from yesterday and the laundry that sat in the dryer for two days is now in the basket on the couch. Oh, my potty training 3 year old needs to go...all is stopped and my focus is completely his. Another success and our hands are washed; soap suds stand in the sink. Finally, I can get a few bites of oatmeal. I fight to focus on more than my changing hormones that toss my emotions and feelings so quickly, my patience is tried and tested beyond. Where is my focus?! It's clear to see the 6 eyes that are focused on me. It's true. They are my focus. They are my ministry. I am constantly reminded. I am always blessed. I say I love you. I say I love me. And they giggle. We sing. We dance. So I fix my tired eyes and pray that Jesus would be an overcomer of myself...
I will fix my eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfector of my faith and family.

Stop.